dumb.

you know when you have those days when you're babysitting 4 new kids {not family members' kids} and on the morning of your very first day on the job you have to drive the family's suburban {which of course is much nicer and larger than the 96' ford escort you're use to driving} and you're late to take the little girl to kindergarten so maybe you were going a little fast on only one section of the road but when you see the sign that says 35 mph and the orange construction cones ahead you instantly slow down to an appropriate 30 mph to be safe and yet a motorcycle cop still sees you and pulls you over but you have no idea why because clearly you were under the speed limit and yet he is still convinced you were going 54 so he gives you a ticket and therefore the little girl is late to school? ya know how that feels? oh you don't? maybe it's just me. suck.

(i am so not good at talking my way out of tickets. even when i don't think i deserve it. i just sit there and listen and then say thank you when they hand over the citation. dumb.)

"Let's Have A Parade"

for me it's not truly the holiday season until i've watched every minute of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. and this year was no different. i haven't had much holiday cheer early this season (maybe that's because i'm still forced to use the ac in my car) but last thursday morning when i sat down to view the prerecorded (thank you tivo) parade i felt every ounce of holiday happiness in the world. (my last few posts {this one included} make me sound materialistic and worldly, huh? oh well.) and let me tell you this parade had a few perks that i think everyone must see. as well as the ever stereotypical crappiness that comes along with this kind of an event.

so i give you the top 4 best and worst things seen at the 2008 Macy's Parade!

best.
4. Heartbeats Jump Rope Team.
"america's premier amateur jump rope team." i looked all over {you tube} for a clip of them performing at the blessed event and found nothing. but take my word for it they are rad. like doing push ups over people while still jumping rope rad.

3. In the Heights.
i really, really want to see this on broadway. mostly because the guy who wrote it (and stars in it) gave this speech at the tony awards. {the entire acceptance speech is in the same sing-song rap as the musical. awesome}

2. Idina Menzel.

i'm not even that into the song but she was hands down the best performer there. lip syncing? i don't know, cause she fakes it real well if she is. it was like a breath of fresh air watching her perform. {and i'm sure it didn't hurt that i already love her voice as elphaba in wicked}

and the number one best thing to happen...

1. Rick Astley.
please tell me somebody else saw this

uh, random right? and yet totally awesome. i kept rewinding it and i'm pretty sure i watched it like 5 times at least. a website called it "Simultaneously The Coolest And Lamest Thing To Ever Happen." i couldn't agree more. {and is it wrong of me to say that rick is looking quite studly these days? who would have thought}

worst.
4. the overall performance choices.
shontelle? clique girlz? charice? push play? who are these people and why are they on national television? {i was going to find links for each one but i really don't care that much to look. google it}

3. Miranda Cosgrove.

{believe me guys. the whole thing was worse seen in beautiful HD quality}

um, really? those are the best dance moves you've got? you really can't lip sync to your own song any better than that? wow.

2. every single flag girl's outfit.
why, why, oh why must every flag girl of a marching band not only have horrible routines but atrocious outfits to go with it? i mean really. cheerleaders have good outfits. dancers in general have good outfits. you're telling me that the best thing you could find to spin a giant flag is a one piece spandex body suit?

this next one really did wonders for the whole parade. the number one worst thing seen...

1. Varsity Fanclub.

really? dancing boy bands are back? i had no idea. (although the one in the white and black hat reminds me of blayne {tan man} from project runway and that makes me laugh.)


also, on a neither best nor worst note, did you know that the lead singer of hootie and the blowfish {Darius Rucker} is now a country singer? try to name one other country singer who is also a black man. you can't? yeah me neither. weird.

i went shopping on black friday and all i got was this bloody lip

...

okay, so maybe i didn't end up with a bloody lip but that could have been a much better story then the one i have to tell. i definitely expected a little more excitement then what i got. it was my first venture out on the blessed day and i had nothing to compare it to but stories of wretched wives and mothers bullying their way to the last tickle me elmo. i wanted a hundred people in line, a race to the products, a few elbows to the face. you know, a typical american frenzy for materialistic products!

{the people in line were totally making fun of me for taking this pic}

i didn't even need the beautiful Nikon Coolpix S550 with 10 megapixels and a 5x optical zoom (ashton {kutcher, that is} would be so proud), or the SD 4 GB memory card (that i got for ten bucks! that's $30 off people!), or the 4 GB flash drive (which was $40 off!), or the set of 50 writable DVD's (for a whopping $8!). but i'm all about a good experience. the event. the crowds and excitement. and so when all of my sisters and friends said they would not be venturing out into the wee hours of the morning to stand in line with only america's finest i decided to make that camera a need. do i have money for it? no. but of course i need a new camera! and of course i need to start standing in line at 5 am to save a whole $50! so i did. but apparently i chose the wrong stores to go to because my experience was calm, productive, and even pleasant. i saw people i knew. i talked and visited while in line. i even got some reading in while waiting in my second line of the day at store number two. radio shack and office max totally came through for me product wise but apparently all the real action was going down at all of the walmarts across the country. (which, let's be honest, is crazy on a normal day). so maybe next year i'll have to make an appearance at one and i just might walk out with a bloody lip and a good story to tell.

i'm so not a morning person

while i was babysitting last week (by the way we all made it alive and happy to thursday afternoon when the parents arrived home) i got to spend a lot of time with this little girl.


now, i use to watch her overnight when she was a baby and she was horrible during the nights. she didn't sleep. waking up multiple times. and always ended up sleeping with me. (just your average infant so i'm told). well this time around it wasn't much different but a lot more enjoyable because i got to have conversations like this: (let it be known that it was 4:30 in the morning and we were both cuddled together in the large king size bed)

sadie: mom? can you rub my back?
me: sure. (it was 4:30 in the am. i was not about to explain to her that i wasn't her mom)
sadie: mom? can i rub your hair?
me: sure. (i never ever turn down a head rub)
sadie: mom?
me: yeah?
sadie: where's dad at?
me: he's on a trip
sadie: well where was he when afton was here?
me: uh?...on a trip
sadie: oh.*

yeah. is it okay to lie to a four year old if it means avoiding a could be melt down? the next morning she realized her mistake and was telling her older brother how funny it was that she was calling me mom all night. you're right sadie, it was funny and much more enjoyable then the nights you would cry.

so here's a shout out to Sadie, the cutest 4 year old girl i know. even at 4:30 in the morning!

*she never went back to sleep after this conversation and by 5:30 i realized she was still wide awake and had to turn dora on for her. it kept her content for another 2 hours and the bright light and noise didn't phase me one bit.

the joy of capitalism

is it weird that this commercial totally makes me feel proud to be an american??

i haven't even stepped into a macy's store in at least two years. and yet i just might the next time i get the need to shop.

here's to you macy's! and here's to america!

currently

...i am babysitting these four

{:max 7: :sadie 4: :ashton 10: :luke 18 months: adorable, right?}

and let me tell ya, being an instant soccer mom of four is hard. especially a single mom at that. i mean i had the schedule. i learned the routine before hand. but there is so much crap that just can't be told. like how to wash the four year old's hair. or how to fit the 18 month old into the bike seat without him freaking out. or how to get a sweatshirt on him (i'm still not sure about that one and i'm pretty sure he was cold the whole week). but all in all it's been great. my brother and sister-in-law (the parents of the before mentioned children) are currently enjoying the mexican sunshine while we have been enjoying...

bike rides to the park,

cookies after school,

dance parties in the car, {apparently this is what happens when i get a phone call and turn my back on them}

veteran's day,

dinner outside on the lawn,

and all the playing we can handle.

the parents left on saturday and return thursday. it's been five whole days and i haven't killed or injured the kiddies yet! here's hoping we make it 'till tomorrow afternoon...


p.s. yesterday i spent the entire day barefoot and outside. it was the most glorious day.

oh to be old.

i saw young at heart this past sunday. i loved it. really really loved it.
reasons why?
1. it's a documentary (and a good one at that) which i always enjoy
2. it actually made me not so anti old people. dare i say, it even made me excited to be old one day

now don't go thinking i hate old people or something, because i don't. i'm just extremely uncomfortable around them and have vowed to never grow old myself. the uncomfortableness comes from being more capable, more aware, and more able to live on my own then someone 4 times my age. it just doesn't seem natural. more times than not they just make me feel sad. and yet this movie gave me nothing but hope for growing old. everybody needs to see it, if for nothing else than for this moment...

(ignore the subtiles. it's the best quality one i could find)

and i will say, this is as sad as the film gets so don't go thinking you're going to be all depressed afterwards. it was my most favorite part though. there's just something so inspiring by listening to our friend Fred singing the words "Lights will guide you home/And ignite your bones/And I will try to fix you" at the ripe age of 81.

so here's to growing old and still having something to give!

in related entertainment excellence. this could very well be my most favorite moment on television. oh charlie. always so witty.